


The Result of Promises Given in Haste

by in_motu_proprio



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, M/M, Suicide, snupin - Freeform, what if
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 21:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10884864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_motu_proprio/pseuds/in_motu_proprio
Summary: Severus has been left to raise Draco after Lucius is committed to Azkaban and Narcissa ended her own life.  Some years later they are in need of another set of hands around the house to tutor Draco.  Around the same time, Severus is presented with an incredibly difficult choice.





	The Result of Promises Given in Haste

Malfoy Manor simply didn't feel like Malfoy Manor anymore. Severus had lived there for over ten years now and it was just this past month that it ceased to feel like Malfoy Manor. Perhaps it had something to do with the letter he held in his hands. He read it once more. It was from the Ministry. Lucius had been caught in an attempted escape from Azkaban and had been sentenced to receive the Kiss without a trial, without so much as notice to the family. It had happened fourteen days ago and yet Severus still could not believe it. What had made him do it? Why had he been so bloody minded? He sighed and folded the letter up, glancing at the clock. Draco would be down any moment.

When Lucius had been sentenced to life in prison, Narcissa had held herself together. She went about ensuring that the Malfoy fortunes would remain intact, had done everything she could to start rebuilding the name before the ink had even dried on Lucius' prison tattoo. It was incredible, what the woman had done in just three months. Draco was barely a year old, and yet she'd ensured that his legacy would be maintained. Severus came over twice a week to keep her company, to stay with Draco so that she could have a bit of time for herself. It was, really, the least he could do considering that he was the boy's godfather. 

It was on one of those nights, sitting in the nursery with a teething, cranky as hell Draco, that the elf had come in. He would never forget the look on the creature's face. He'd held Draco tightly, listening as the elf described what she'd seen. Narcissa, it seemed, had gone up to her private room, as was her custom when Severus came over. She'd written three letters, one to Lucius, one to Draco, and one to Severus, before putting her wand to her temple and killing herself. 

Leave it to Narcissa to use the one curse that would leave no mark, he thought as he looked down on the body. Draco was fast asleep in his nursery downstairs in the company of the elf who'd come to tell Severus of Narcissa's fate. Severus took a deep breath and leaned over, picking up her body and laying her in bed. He had thought on it as he sat there looking at her, and finally decided that Draco would not grow up with the stigma of a father in prison and a mother who'd killed herself. He drew his wand and started to work. 

By the time the morning dawned, it looked as though she'd died of heart failure. Really, Severus thought as he fed Draco that morning, the medical examiners upstairs with Narcissa's body, it was true. She couldn't live without Lucius. He'd always been her whole life, back to the day they'd started school. Narcissa had been in love with him her whole life. Severus had learned that it was hard not to love Lucius Malfoy. The man had grown into one of his dearest friends, and had been the _only_ person that Severus hadn't presented evidence about to Dumbledore. 

Severus pulled himself from his memories, glancing the clock again. Draco would be walking down the steps this morning, freshly turned fourteen. He was nearly a man. The thought was almost disconcerting to Severus. Fourteen had been a terrible year for him, but it would be a good year for Draco, come hell or high water. He sipped his tea, sitting at the large table. He did not sit at the head of the table, he was _not_ the Lord of Malfoy Manor after all. He was but a steward until Draco came of age. He sat, as he always had, just to the left of the head of the table. Narcissa had always sat at Lucius' right, Severus at the left. That was simply how it was. 

Severus touched the paper in his pocket, considering. It was their choice, Severus' really, as Draco wasn't of age, if Lucius would remain in Azkaban or if he would come home to the Manor. Severus was of his own mind on things. He would, though, allow Draco some input into the decision making. It was, after all, his father. 

The years between Narcissa's death and the present day had been tedious at first. Severus was not meant to be anyone's father, his own example of fatherhood being a drunken sot who'd regularly beaten both he and his mother. He'd grown into it, though. It was astounding, really, how well he'd taken to fatherhood. He'd not anticipated it, had thought that he would send the boy off once he turned eleven, not to Hogwarts, maybe Beauxbatons, he hadn't been sure. When the time came, though, Draco was as reluctant to leave as Severus had been to send him. Sending Draco away would have meant Severus being alone once more, and he was not overly fond of the idea. Draco had presented him with a very logical argument that, as he no longer taught at Hogwarts, that his education would be substandard were he sent there. He also argued that Durmstrang was far too far away and Beauxbatons was too soft for a Malfoy to attend. 

Instead, the boy had argued, he wished to be tutored at home. Severus, feeling that Draco's arguments were well thought out and quite complete, hadn't sent him away. It was coming to the point, however, that Draco was beginning to exceed his ability to instruct him in certain subjects. Severus was a brilliant man, as Lucius had always told him, however he had never been terribly good at transfiguration or divination. He wished Draco to have a well-rounded education and was willing to admit his shortcomings to those points only. 

That was why _he_ was coming to the Manor today. It would be Draco's decision, he would have to get used to making them after all, if _he_ were to begin tutoring him. Severus, of course, had his worries, but every other tutor that they had interviewed, and there had been many, had fallen short in one way or another. Remus Lupin really _was_ the last choice on his list, but the next option was sending Draco away, an option that neither he nor Draco relished.

"Good morning," Draco greeted him, hair tucked behind his ears. 

"Good morning," Severus said, looking up at the boy. Gods, he thought, you look more and more like Lucius every day. "Happy birthday." He gave Draco a nod as the boy sat, watching Draco arrange himself. He really was his father's spitting image. There were things that Draco did that he could never have known were Lucius' little tics and gestures and sometimes they brought Severus up short. While Severus loved seeing that his dearest friend lived on in the boy, it also tore at his heart. 

"Thank you," Draco nodded, slipping a bit of blackberry jam onto his toast, noting that Severus looked quite sharp today. He'd stopped dressing so shabbily when Draco had begun requesting they go out in public around age five. Today, though, he looked quite well put together, the deep green of his shirt brought out the little brown in his eyes. Draco had pointed that out to him once, when they were in a store. Severus had told him that that was his natural Malfoy coming out, showing how to bring the best out of the worst. Draco had spent a good deal of time after that re-reading his father's journals, looking for some way to figure his godfather out. 

"I thought that you could open your gifts after dinner, or would you like them now?" Severus ran his hand over the napkin in his lap. Today was the day when he thought it the most unfair that Draco had no parents, only him. This time of year was the time that Severus tended to beat himself about the metaphorical head about Draco’s current lot in life. If only he’d known, if only he’d been a little more empathetic to Narcissa at the time instead of worrying about his own sorry arse, the boy might still have at least one parent left. He sighed, glancing the boy.

"After dinner is fine," he said, nodding, trying very hard to be a man, attempting not beg to have his presents just yet. Draco had told him yesterday that now that he was fourteen, nearly grown. He couldn't go about behaving like a child his whole life. 

"..." Severus opened his mouth to speak as an elf stepped up next to him, announcing that their visitor had arrived and he looked ill. Severus looked to Draco. "Finish your breakfast and I shall meet you in the lab," he said, slipping back from the table. 

"But...." Draco knew better than to argue, though, and stopped, just nodding. "Of course. I'll make sure the cauldrons are clean." He got a pat on the shoulder from Severus as he moved past him, a great sign of approval, and actually smiled at the man as he left. He knew that Severus thought himself a poor father figure. He knew that he'd had a terrible upbringing himself, but Draco thought that Severus did a wonderful job. Draco didn't know what loving a parent was like, but he knew that he loved Severus as much as he loved anyone or anything in his life. And though he didn’t say it, Draco was very sure that Severus loved him right back.

 

****************************

Remus stood shakily in the reception hall, waiting. The elf had been _quite_ clear that he needed to stay here, needed to wait. Remus would not chance walking into Malfoy Manor without the express permission of its’ ward. He knew Severus too well after going to school with him for all those years. There was no way this place wasn’t booby trapped.

He swept in, a cloud of black and a bit of deep green settled in the midst. "You are early," he snapped, looking over the man. "And you're filthy." 

"Good to see you too, Severus," Remus said. "The trip in was eventful." 

Severus' lips pursed sharply, eyes looking over Lupin again. "Draco and I have a potion that we need to begin before we can interview you. Dobby will lead you upstairs to bathe and change," he nodded to the suitcase at Lupin's heel. Clearly he thought he was getting the job, the bastard. "A tray will be brought to you." With that, Severus turned on his heel and headed off, leaving Lupin in Dobby's capable hands.

****************************

"You seem distracted," Draco commented to his godfather as he carefully opened seed pods for their latest endeavor. He didn't often comment openly on Severus' mood, but when he did he expected some sort of response for being brave enough to mention it.

"Mmmm," Severus nodded, turning his back on the boy. He'd shed his robes and was working in rolled up shirt sleeves at the moment, stirring clockwise cautiously, the caustic base of the potion being treated with the most careful attention. "... bring those over," he nodded to the seeds. 

"Your hair is on fire," Draco commented as he walked over, the cutting board poised next to the man.

"Very good, very good," Severus nodded, plucking three seeds from the board. 

"Merlin, Severus, what's gotten under your skin?" Draco poked his godfather with the blunt end of his knife, getting his attention finally. "You've been out of it all morning, even at breakfast. What's going on?" 

Severus looked at the boy, plucking the seeds from his board to slip into the potion one by one. "Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "You're getting older and it makes one ... reflective," he said, shrugging. "Get the dittany," he told him as a bit of the base splashed up on the back of his knuckles. 

Draco reached over to get the plant, taking Severus' hand in his, to rub the leaves across the burnt knuckles. "Is it Lupin being here? I read in father's journals about what happened. ... I know that you've been working on making wolfsbane," he said without preamble.

"You," Severus commented, "are too perceptive for my own good." He continued adding the seeds with the other hand, not wanting to cross-contaminate and get some dittany in there. "... I am less than comfortable with putting the last of the Malfoy blood in any danger by having that... beast in the house." 

Draco shook his head. "I have faith in your ability to brew the potion, Severus. If he's the choice between staying here with you to learn and going away to school," he said, trailing off, making his choice quite clear. He didn't want to go away to school. He liked staying here, being with his godfather. "I know that he wouldn't be here if you hadn't brewed it successfully at least twice...." He took the board away, setting it on the table as he went about collecting a bit of bubotubor puss. 

This child really was his mother's son. He was perceptive to a fault and it annoyed the hell out of Severus sometimes. There were moments that he simply wished to have his secrets, his own memories without the taint of Lucius and Narcissa all over it. He loved them both dearly, but sometimes he just wished to be Severus, not Draco's godfather or the steward of Malfoy Manor. He didn't wish to have to make the choice about where Lucius would live, nor if Draco would go away to school or stay here. Sometimes the pressure was so great that he cursed Narcissa's soul to hell for leaving him here with this. 

Other times though... other times, he could not imagine his life any other way. It wasn't as though he would have continued teaching under Dumbledore's yoke once Voldemort was dead. He could have gone on, opened his own shop, he supposed, but somehow he didn't think that anything he could have discovered in research would have been half as important to the world as ensuring that the last of the Malfoy blood was raised properly. 

"You're right. He'll be perfectly safe while he's here... if we decide to have him," he pointed out, giving Draco a sharp look. "Don't assume that he'll remain here simply because you don't want to go away to school. He'll either be right for the job or he won't. Do not cut him slack simply because of your wishes. The quality of your education must come first, Draco." 

****************************

It was silent in the sitting room, Draco and Severus on one side, Lupin on the other. Severus was silently appraising the man, looking for obvious flaws, needing to know that he truly posed no danger to Draco. Dobby had done his job admirably, cleaning the man up to nearly passable. He was cleanly shaven, his robes had been mended, and he was freshly washed. He looked good… for Lupin.

“…I excelled in both transfiguration and divination," Remus said, turning to Draco. "And I was excellent in both Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts." He wouldn't mention that in this house it was more likely simply Dark Arts. The fact of the matter was that Remus needed a bloody job. He was broke and had been crashing at Sirius' place for the past two months. He couldn't deal with the constant barrage of girl after girl after boy after girl coming through. Well, that and knowing that wolfsbane would come as a part of the job was a huge perk. Sirius had offered to pay for the wolfsbane to keep him away from Severus, from taking the job, but Remus needed to feel as though he was doing something to earn his money. He was not a kept man, and simply couldn't become one because he didn’t want to work for Snape. 

"I believe that I have Defense well in hand," Severus deadpanned. 

Remus nodded. "I'm sure you do." He gave him a little smile before turning to Draco. "I like to give a hands-on approach. I've been thinking about it since I got the owl from Severus, about how I'd teach. I think that actually working with things, not just strictly theory, is the best way." 

Draco nodded, approving. "That's how Severus and I do things now. We study what we're about to do, then work on actually doing it. I'm in the fourth year book for Defense and am in OWL levels for potions." It had been Severus' recommendation that they find someone to assist with his other subjects. Draco had been comfortable with Severus teaching him, with working at his actual level. Severus, though, had not been satisfied and didn't feel that he was pushing Draco hard enough. 

"We would need someone to work with Draco at a more advanced level for Transfiguration and Divination. You would also work with him on his Charms. I have a very distinctive way of going about teaching Charms, however I feel that Draco would benefit from a more well-rounded approach." Severus' voice was even. He hated that he was admitting a shortcoming to the man, however Draco was what he had to focus on. 

"I could do that," Remus agreed, frankly happy he’d not been lobbed out of the place already. "Of course I'd like to watch the two of you work together to get a feeling for what you've covered so far. Then we can go from there," he commented with a nod. Remus found that sometimes speaking as though he already had the job was helpful. 

Draco gave Remus a look that clearly said: ‘I want you to work for me,’ ever the little Malfoy. "I think that that is a reasonable request," he said, looking to Severus who clearly didn't think it so reasonable. Severus liked his privacy, liked that they could explore both the lighter and darker sides of magic without prying eyes. Draco understood what it cost his godfather to allow someone else in. They hadn't ever had any of the other tutors Severus had brought in from time to time ask to observe them, though. 

Severus nodded curtly. "I know you to be capable in the subjects that you would be responsible for," he said a bit grudgingly. It wasn't that Severus couldn't _do_ charms or transfigure things, he just didn't quite know how to teach it. The foolish wand waving had never been his forte. Severus preferred the hard magics, concrete things like potion making. "Draco," he looked to the boy. "Go give the potion we were working on four stirs clockwise and three counter clockwise... slowly." He would not discuss anything further in front of him. 

"Of course," Draco nodded, sliding from his seat and heading off. Remus was as good as in, he thought. 

Clearly, Severus didn't want the boy to hear the rest of their discussion, so he waited until there was no trace of Draco. Severus pulled his wand at once, warding down the room. He knew his godson too well, it seemed, to take any chances. 

"... understand," Severus started out, sliding his wand away, "that what I'm about to say is not a threat, it is a promise." He leaned forward just a little in his seat, looking Lupin in the eye. "If any harm comes to that boy while he is under your care, if he complains over so much as a split end, you will die a very slow, very painful death." He watched Lupin process it. "He is my ward, my godson, and the last of the Malfoy line. It is my responsibility to ensure his safety and well being. I take that job more seriously than you could possibly imagine, Lupin." He let his words sink in, staring at the man.

"... of course," Remus nodded. "I doubt that there's anything you've ever undertaken in your life, Severus, that you haven't done with full gusto and ego involved. You're a passionate man and it's clear that you're passionate about Draco getting the best education he can." 

Draco was Severus' only weakness so far as Severus was concerned. He would never have tipped his hand to the werewolf so easily were he not so utterly passionate about just what Lupin said. "You will be provided wolfsbane each month for the three days of the full moon plus one before and one after. You will not teach Draco nor have any contact with him for those five days of the month." He paused, raising a brow, waiting for Lupin to argue. He didn't, though. "You will have rooms here to use as you wish, though any liaisons should be undertaken away from Malfoy Manor. I won't have him walking in to find you grunting and thrusting." 

Lupin laughed, shaking his head. "You won't have to worry about the latter. I would not disrespect the opportunity you're giving me here, Severus. Plus, it's been years." He was aiming for a joke, but Severus looked totally shocked for a moment before that sneer came back.

He was taken aback by Lupin's candor, as well as the fact that he'd called him by his given name over and over again. Really, this werewolf was quite comfortable already and that made Severus quite annoyed. "... you' are expected to have your lessons fully planned out with some sort of assessment to be delivered once a week minimum. Draco is no simpleton. He is quite bright and I want him pushed to his very limit." He crossed his legs, really looking at Remus. "We have discussions at every meal about what he's learned that day. You're expected to attend meals in the dining room all but the five days a month that you are incapacitated. Those days," he said, "you will be expected to stay out of the Manor in the shed at the back of the property. I will ward it myself, and give you an area to roam in, but if you step so much as a hairy toe out of that area, I will hex you into a twitching pool of werewolf. You will be reimbursed for your time, of course, with weekly deposits made into a Gringott's vault. Lessons are not conducted on Sundays, so if you wish that to be your day away from the Manor, you may take it as such. Every other day, though, we follow a strict routine, with lessons given even on Saturdays for half the day. Do you understand?" 

Remus nodded, looking at Snape. Was school all they did? Honestly? Did the boy ever go out? Have fun? See friends? "I do," he agreed.

"A contract is waiting upstairs in the rooms you used to change. You have until the end of the day to sign it or get out." He stood, turning on his heel to head in the direction he'd sent Draco off in. "Dobby will be staying with you until you make your decision. You understand, I'm sure." 

****************************

"Has he signed it yet," Draco asked Severus when he stepped into the lab. 

"Impatient boy," Severus countered with no heat in his voice whatsoever. Seeing Lupin had put Severus on edge. He worried about having another person in the house, about Lupin's ability to push Draco as he really needed to be pushed. "Of course he's not...." He didn't even get the sentence out when Dobby popped into the lab, handing up the contract to Severus. 

"Teacher requests a room to use for lessons," Dobby said, inclining his head. 

"... give him the study next to his rooms," he said. "Have the books on Charms, Transfiguration, and Divination in the library unhexed and show them to him while his classroom is being set up." Dobby popped out of sight as Severus uncurled the scroll, a little note slipping into his hand. 

"What's that?" Draco asked. 

"Watch your cauldron," he told him. "You don't want to end up cleaning it off the ceiling again," he told him as he uncurled the note. 

_Severus,_

_Once again, thank you for the opportunity. I know that we have our own history between us. Let's allow this to be a fresh start, a new chapter._

_With deep appreciation,_

_Remus_

"Twit," Severus grumbled under his breath before sliding the note into his pocket along with the one about Lucius. He'd bring that to Draco's attention tomorrow. He wouldn’t ruin the boy’s birthday. 

****************************

He'd left Draco to his own devices, an independent study project that the boy had begged for well in hand, as he headed upstairs. He needed a moment to himself. He was giving up some of that, he knew, inviting Lupin in to work with Draco, and he didn't know how he felt about that. No, he knew how he felt about that. He hated the idea of giving up any of his private time. 

Sliding into his own study, he sat behind the large desk. Lucius' study as well as Narcissa's, were still the way they'd left them. The Mater Suite was much the same. Severus had picked an out of the way room to make his own, one with an excellent view of the gardens. He liked to look out on them, liked to remember the good times. Draco had learned to walk in those gardens. He thought of the boy on his broom for the first time there, his sixth birthday party. Sighing, Severus ran a hand through his hair, tugging on the ends sharply. 

"Sickle for your thoughts?" The voice broke Severus from his thoughts, and he turned, looking up at Lucius' portrait. 

"You've always tried to get a deal on my thoughts," Severus replied. 

"One doesn't get filthy, stinking rich by throwing it around, Severus. Really, what are you thinking about? I heard that the werewolf is here. Is that what you're moping about?" 

Severus took offense, staring up at his friend immortalized in paint. "I am not moping," he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm thinking. Thinking about you, your wife, your son." He sighed, looking at him sadly. "They Kissed you." Severus sat on the edge of his desk, looking at Lucius, watching the portrait's expression change. "I haven't told Draco yet. How do you tell a boy who secretly hopes that his father is coming home every day of his life that the man he admires more than anyone in the world is now a soulless shell?" He closed his eyes, lips pursed tightly. 

"... don't tell him." Lucius was quite serious, looking at his friend. "I know what you're considering. Do not bring me home from that place. Leave me there. I don't know any different now and to bring me here, to have Draco see me like that... don't you dare, Severus." Lucius’ pale eyes stared sharply at Severus, feeling his paint nearly bubble with the intensity of his gaze.

"I know," Severus said softly, looking up at him. "I could use one of the properties, though, have Lucius brought there, taken care of by the elves. The thought of him remaining in _that place_ for a moment longer than he needs to," he said with a shake of his head. "I can't do it to him." 

"... you know what you're going to have to do, what you promised me that you would do, Severus." Lucius slipped from portrait to portrait in the room until he was just next to Severus in the one behind him. "You swore to me when they were taking me, Severus." 

Severus nodded, turning to look at him. "I know." 

What he didn't know was that the newest addition to the household had been waiting, hand poised to knock. Remus heard everything and understood on that basic animal level that if Severus knew he'd heard that he would be, in a very real way, dead.

****************************

"Severus," Draco said, eyes wide. "... really? This means you're going to let me?" He bounced in his seat, very un-Malfoy like, grinning across the table.

"I was told it was an excellent broom," he told the boy, nodding to the Nimbus 2001 in his hands. "One suitable for trying out for a quiddich league," he said. "... your father was the keeper on the Slytherin team, though I think you have more of a seeker in you." 

Remus nodded and smiled, not wanting to break into the moment, but needing to show Draco that he agreed. He could sense the boy’s desperation for connection with those his age and understood it deeper than the Malfoy heir would ever understand. He knew for a fact that Severus, too, understood this though Remus didn’t quite understand why Severus kept the boy at Malfoy Manor. 

"Thank you so much." Draco set his broom on the chair next to him, looking to Remus. "I've been begging Severus for two years now to let me try out for a team. He kept telling me no, that it was too dangerous. Gods, I'm so excited," he said, nearly tempted to scarf his birthday dinner in order to go outside and give it a spin. 

"... I'm sure that he had his reasons," Remus pointed out, looking at the slight boy. The fact that one good hit from a bludger and Draco would snap in half was likely Severus' chief reason. Draco wasn’t exactly a hulking mass.

"Open the others," Severus told him. The first was from Narcissa's list. She'd left very careful instructions about what heirlooms Draco was to be given for his own use on which birthday. "... they're for when we go to Paris," he said, nodding at the cufflinks that Draco had just opened. "It was your mother's wish that you really begin to get integrated into society after this birthday. She wanted us to start in Paris." He gave the boy a little smile. Draco knew just what he meant, integrated into society.... That translated, roughly, into finding a wife. 

"They're beautiful," he told Severus, touching the shiny surface of the emerald. "Truly. Thank you." He looked to the portrait of his mother beaming down on him nodding back. 

The next box contained a set of silver stirring rods from Severus, and the last was another of Lucius' journals for Draco. Each year he got one more to learn more about his father, to develop that relationship. Severus knew for a fact that the boy had read each journal no less than five times each. "Thank you," he said softly, bringing it to his chest. "You know that I wait all year for this." 

Severus gave him a nod, eyes darting to Lupin to silently tell the boy to keep himself together. Draco got the message and slid the journal into his robes, out of sight, out of mind it seemed. "Once you've finished your meal if you want to write your friends and ask them over this weekend, I will suspend your Saturday lessons." It was a once a year event and Draco, Severus knew, had already written all of his friends. 

"I shall. Thank you," he said happily, sliding a bite of trifle into his mouth, already thinking to the party he had planned. He liked that Severus left him to his own devices for that, didn't pressure him to have some gala, just a few friends over to stay the weekend, to tell him of school and their friends there. Draco didn't feel isolated, per se. He had friends. He knew a great deal of people. He had been sort of grandfathered in to having the friends, though. He wondered what it would be like to make a friend on his own merit, not because of his name.

****************************

The days between his birthday and his friends staying the weekend had been long and filled with so much work that Draco honestly thought his brain might well explode. Severus had been distant as well, which worried him. Severus could get lost in his own thoughts a little too easily these days and Draco wondered if it had anything to do with Remus being here. 

Remus had turned out to be a wonderful teacher and was already pushing Draco further than Severus or any of the other tutors they'd tried had. The great thing about Remus was that he didn't treat him as though he were made of glass. Severus wasn't always totally kind to him, but it was evident that he took the fact that Draco was the last Malfoy seriously, and that he wanted to ensure his charge made it to adulthood. Remus wasn't reckless with what they were learning, he just wasn't overly careful either. It was great fun, really. 

The meals had been quiet at first, slowly morphing into Remus and Severus bickering over the smallest things. Really, Draco was learning tons from the way they argued. He'd only ever been presented with Severus' point of view, with his beliefs and set of experiences. It was enlightening to have a totally different perspective brought into things. 

Currently, he was sitting in the formal sitting room waiting patiently for his friends to begin arriving. Severus had, as he always did on this occasion, disappeared. He was in the Manor, Draco knew, but nowhere to be easily found. Draco knew that Severus didn't like company, didn't like to interact with people, so he didn't really push it. He was responsible enough to not behave stupidly, and the fact that Severus trusted him to keep things under control meant a great deal to him. 

Dobby stepped in, announcing Pansy Parkinson and Draco stood, pleased, ready to enjoy himself. 

****************************

Severus took the opportunity of Draco's party to slip away into his rooms and close the door. He let the elves ensure that the children didn't do anything too foolish and simply let himself indulge in things he didn't typically indulge in. 

Currently, that was a bottle of scotch. It was sitting, cap loosely fitted as he started his sixth draft of a letter to the wizard in charge of Azkaban. He didn't like to think of things like this, but Lucius' portrait had been right. Draco didn't need that stigma. He could tolerate the one of a father in jail, but a soulless shell of a man, Draco didn't need to get to know his father for the first time in that way. No. Lucius' own wishes in that regard were quite clear as well. 

The door opened and closed without Severus noticing, Remus’ eyes moving over him unacknowledged. "... I knocked," Remus said, biting his bottom lip. "No one..." He glanced the bottle, the crumpled notes. "I can come back if you..... Severus," he asked, taking a slow breath. 

"What do you want, Lupin," he asked, eyeing the man. He wasn't drunk, nor was he sober. It likely wasn't a good way to meet the werewolf. 

"I thought you might want to have dinner tonight since Draco's going to be with his friends. I hate eating alone and.... You look like you're busy," he said, slipping the tray he'd brought up onto the palm of one hand. "I can come back." 

The food smelled excellent and Severus didn't know what possessed him, but he shook his head. "Come in. Set it down." It couldn't be that he was lonely, could it? Surely, surely not. He liked living this way, enjoyed his privacy, his alone time. He wasn't... lonely, certainly not! 

Remus stepped in, setting the tray down on the small table in the corner, carefully setting them out plates, forks, knives, everything one would need to have a good meal. "I brought up some wine, but if you wanted your scotch," he said with a shrug. 

Severus capped the bottle and moved over to the table, looking at Lupin. "Scotch is an after dinner drink," he pointed out. "Or one you drink when you don't intend upon eating." He sat, crossing his ankles under the table, looking at Lupin. "Draco speaks quite enthusiastically about your lessons." 

"Well, it's only been a week," Remus said. "Give me another couple to really work him over and then see if he likes my lessons so much," he joked. Remus ran a hand through his hair before he picked up his fork. Severus smelled melancholy. He couldn't explain it, but as he got closer to the full moon, he knew when someone was blue, when they were aroused, happy, bored. He could smell it on them as easily as he smelled the garlic on tonight's chicken. 

Severus shot him a look, raising one brow. "I think you'll find Draco quite a resilient student. He is quite eager to learn." Severus took a bite of the chicken, nodding in approval. It was delicious. 

"Yes, well, I hope so. I have a hard week planned for him coming up." 

The conversation continued, quite congenial, the pair seeming to have a lovely dinner right up until Remus opened his mouth and said exactly the wrong thing. 

"I... it was an accident, but I overheard you the first day I was here... about Lucius," he said. 

Severus' head came up slowly, eyeing the man. "...." 

"... if it helps, I agree with Lucius' portrait. Don't let Draco get to know his father like that. It's...." He shook his head. 

"... dinner is over, Lupin." Severus pushed back from the table, turning away from Remus. "Get out." 

****************************

Severus was not seen until Draco's friends left. Even then, he didn't speak to Lupin at all, not even polite conversation or so much as a please or thank you. He kept his mouth utterly shut as they neared the full moon. This disturbed Draco. It had seemed the two men were getting along just fine at first, but something had happened. 

It was when Severus and Draco were sitting alone together in Severus' study one night that Draco finally said something. "Did you sleep with him?" 

Severus' eyes nearly bugged out of his head when the boy spoke. "Pardon me?" 

"I asked you if you slept with him, if that was why you weren't talking to Remus anymore. It's really obvious, Severus. Something's going on and I figured I'd ask the most absurd and see if you would talk to me." 

Severus shook his head. "You are your father's son. No, I didn't sleep with him. What business is it of yours with whom I sleep with anyway?" He shook his head, holding up his hand. "Don't answer that. Really, Draco, it's fine." 

"Is it because of what happened in school between you two? I mean... father said in his journals that he always suspected something was going on between the pair of you. It's okay with me, Severus. I think it's a good thing. You haven't had anyone the whole time you've been taking care of me. I don't want to see it, of course," he said with a little shudder, "but if you want to... go ahead." 

"Well thank you for your permission," Severus said sarcastically, shaking his head. "He just gets under my skin, Draco. Nothing is going on between us." 

****************************

The problem was that since Lupin had moved in Severus had been suffering from the _most_ disturbing dreams. He'd woken up nearly every day with some sort of embarrassing problem that had to be taken care of quickly in the shower. He hated that his body and mind were such a pair of bloody traitors, hated more that Lupin was bloody right about Lucius. He'd written to the wizard that ran Azkaban, deciding that Lucius would live out what was left of his life in the French country home. 

"Sickle for your thoughts." 

Severus nearly dropped his cup of tea. He turned, staring at Remus as though he'd just slapped him across the face. "... trying to get a deal, Lupin?" Remus laughed, shaking his head. 

"Well my current employer is a bit tight fisted," he said moving into the kitchen to stand next to Severus. "I'm joking of course, my compensation is more than fair." He gave Severus a wide smile, looking into his eyes. "You looked a million miles away."

"I was," Severus said, thinking to France. He looked behind him to check for Draco's presence. "What we spoke about the night Draco's friends came to stay," he said. "... it's happening. There's a family home in France, out in the country. We'll be taking Draco to Paris next week. I'm going to need you to stay with him while I go down and check on things." Severus was less than thrilled with the prospect of leaving the boy to Remus’ tender care. They were well out of the range of the full moon, but Severus still didn’t trust the wolf 100%. He did, though, trust a Gryffindor like Lupin to be sentimental enough not to do something too cruel or too stupid while Severus went to take care of Lucius. 

Remus nodded, giving him a concerned look. "Of course, of course. You're sure you'll be alright, though?" He couldn't imagine seeing one of his closest friends, seeing Sirius in the same position. It would break his heart. Remus stepped closer, not quite touching Severus, but close enough to. 

"I'm sure I won't be, but it has to be done." His arms folded over his chest, eyes focusing on the wall just past Lupin’s shoulder. “There is only one other choice and, at best, I am reticent to do that to Draco.” At his worst, he was downright terrified to put the boy through that kind of trauma. 

“….” What did one say to a man who was going to end the life of his best friend? He wondered if there really was even a word for it, a platitude that would make it good, the kind of shite one saw on muggle television when they were trying to sell you hot chocolate or tampons. 

Deciding that there were no words, Remus just reached out, brushing a bit of hair from Severus’ eyes. He had lovely eyes, really. Remus had always thought that, though. There was a bit of brown there, a very deep brown, but they weren’t all black as Sirius had always said. He’d made quips about windows being the way to see into someone’s soul, and if that were true, that Snape’s was just as black as Sirius had always thought. 

Severus’ heart pounded in his chest when Remus reached up to touch him. It had been years since anyone but the boy had given him so much as a handshake and here he was in a family space, the kitchen, with Lupin brushing the hair from his eyes. It was silly of him to find himself in a twist over such a simple gesture. He knew too well that he was reading into it too deeply. Remus was just an openly demonstrative man, he always had been. 

“… it’s softer than I would have thought,” Remus commented idly, trying to move Severus’ mind from the thought of his friend, of letting his charge stay under Remus’ attentions instead of his own. “… your hair, I mean. For some reason I always thought your hair would be quite coarse.” 

“… you spend a great deal of time contemplating my hair, then,” Severus drawled sarcastically, not pulling back. 

“… not recently,” Remus said with a smirk, his index finger tracing a loose strand, moving it carefully off of Severus’ forehead. “… however it turns out, Severus, it will be what it will be. Your worrying, your ruminating and brooding on it… it’s not going to make any difference. Draco is outside in the gardens picking ingredients for some, no doubt, illicit potion. Let’s go join him.” 

To Remus’ great surprise he wasn’t hexed or cursed, spat on or shouted at. Severus had just stood there, accepting the little comfort he could offer in that moment. He pulled his hand back, letting it rest at his own side now, just looking at the man with a silent prayer filtering through his brain. _Let him not recoil. Let him see that I’m sincere. Let him understand that it was James and Sirius. Let him not fear me. Let him be able to do what he thinks he has to do for the boy._

Severus cleared his throat, turning on his heel and heading toward the door. Lupin thought he was fleeing until Severus spoke. “Well,” he snapped, glancing back over his shoulder. “You said you wanted to watch us work together, Lupin. Are you coming or not?” Remus really hadn’t thought that his prayers had been answered once in his life. In that moment he was glad that the great whatever it was up in the sky owed him a few and as he stood there watching Severus’ face shift from worried to hopeful with Remus’ first step, he was happy to spend those markers on Severus.

**Author's Note:**

> ... so ... I put this up because I loved it though it is incomplete. It's one of my babies, my early pieces, so it's been so hard to pick back up. Thank you for taking the time to read.


End file.
